So this coming friday marks the end of Blackout Drunk.  Not the end of me getting blackout drunk, but the end of me doing the one man show.  At least for a little while. It has been an absolute blast, and the audience has been great.  Lets keep it that way jerks.  I will post a quick drinking story in honor of this show (I wont be telling this one at the show).

Last Friday was my rugby club’s forwards annual steak dinner and scotch-a-thon.  Forwards are the big guys on the team. It was at Ruth’s Chris and it involved an open bar for two hours and huge steaks, perfect for me.  I managed to get absolutely wasted finishing everyone’s very expensive scotch that they couldn’t finish, also as I am writing this…I think I may have been finishing people’s steaks that were on tables.  Waste not want not.

Then afterwards we met up with the backs (the smaller, faster guys) at another bar where I have almost no recollection of anything, except one dude taking a shit while I was in the bathroom with him.  There were no stalls.  I was pissing in the sink.  Everyone starting making plans where we wanted to go next, this is like 1AM, some people are heading downtown, and a couple of my friends that live together were gonna go back to their place have a few cheap drinks then head out again.

I really should have went home at this point (if not waaaaay earlier).  Once I start it takes a lot to get me to stop, I like to have fun.  I went back to these dudes apt, and when we got there, their 3rd roommate was in his underwear throwing pitchers of hot water and soap down their hallway.  For the record they don’t live in a dorm they live in a ‘nice’ Murray Hill apartment.

So it goes without saying that I rapidly stripped off all my clothes and joined in the indoor hardwood slip and slide.  Running and jumping chest first onto the floor then at the end someone runs over and starts pouring beer down your throat.  Good times, even for a 28 year old who got engaged just a week earlier.

I was terrible at slip and slide, I weighed too much and would screech to a halt shortly, or smash into the fridge with vigor, so I decided it was best that I get out of there.  I tried to put my pants back on and they wouldn’t fit at all.  I was screaming about how they shrunk to anyone who would listen.  Turns out I was trying to put one someone else clothes.  Whoops. 

I finally got dressed and headed out.  I should also mention it was without my shoes, I apparently left without my shoes or socks because I couldn’t find them.  So I barefoot hailed a cab and went back to Brooklyn.

NOTE: This next part of the story was told to me by my fiancee as I have no recollection.

She woke up ot the sound of keys trying to get into the lock for about 5 minutes, she came out to find her newly engaged fiance standing in the hallway with an unbuttoned shirt and no shoes or socks on.  When she asked me why I didn’t have any shoes on the only things I could mutter were, “It’s like how in improv you see something…” I kept trailing off and saying things like “You know I have been reading the same book for like four years…” I have no fucking clue what I could have been trying to say.

I woke up the next morning, called my buddies told them to bring my shoes to rugby practice, they said they could not find them anywhere in their apartments.  No one knows where those black chuck taylors could have gone.

Hear other stories and watch me get really wasted this friday!!!!

One more time with feeling

Blackout Drunk Friday, August 20th at Midnight at the UCB Theatre

written and performed by Jon Gabrus

with special guests Max Silvestri and Noah Garfinkel

directed by John Flynn

5bucks to get in, and 2dollar PBRs!

Get wasted with me. Reservation