Tonight Neil Casey and Will Hines were in town and they played with Death By Roo Roo, my UCB improv team out here in LA.  It was a really fun show that got a lot of great reactions from the audience. One such scene that the crowd seemed to really dig was really arguably a shitty improv scene because of some aggressive BS walk on (by yours truly).

Jackie Clarke and John Gemberling were in a scene about a Hells Angel who had lost a finger because they were an annoying member of the biker gang.  Jackie mentioned that she needed a tourniquet, and that she had learned that from watching The Following, starring Kevin Bacon.  Gemberling replies “You’re telling me you just learned to stop the blood flow of a missing appendage in this current season of The Following” Jackie’s character (Mike the nine-fingered biker/plumber) mentions that he loves Kevin Bacon.

This line is what spurred the hackest of walk-ons (which I probably do all too often, how many times have I played a waiter in a date scene that was going fine?) I open the front door to the house and say, did someone just say Kevin Bacon, I happen to be standing right here. I was just wandering around looking for an apple salesman.  We have some exchanges, I reference Footloose (of course). “Well I don’t know how to make a tourniquet, but if you ever have issues with a future father-in-law who hates dancing hit me up”

I go to exit the scene and get stuck on the stage left door, literally my butt is stuck on the knob. And I exit not-so-smoothly.  I hear Jackie say, I think that door knob got stuck in Kevin Bacon’s butthole. So I pop back in (love walk ons!) and apologize for getting their doorknob stuck up my ass and return the key chain that I just farted out.  Jackie’s character mentions that I was lying and I probably shit them out. KILLER SCENE WORK SO FAR!

Then something about rubber bands on the doorknob from Mike Still, which makes Will Hines walk on as Chris Bacon and try to justify the rubber bands on the door knob, then says ‘I am Chris Bacon, no one really cares what I have to say’ We all exit (FINALLY).

Gemberling mentions how odd it is that both Bacon brothers were hanging outside their home in Plymouth Mass.  Not to mention that TV/Film star Kevin got his butthole stuck on their doorknob then shit out the keys that were stuck in the lock.

This whole weird ass tangential side-tracked scene gets a pretty decent reaction from the audience.  After the show in front of the theatre some friends of mine stop me and say, “I can’t believe you guys did all that in front of him.” I didn’t understand what they were referring to. After a couple minutes of me saying “Wait. Seriously?” and “Are you fucking kidding me?” We gather that….

Kevin Bacon WAS IN THE AUDIENCE.  With Kyra Sedgwick and his brother Chris.

None of us knew that they were there, it was just a very magical improv moment. Though I am sure to them it just looked like a bunch of weirdo improvisors started openly portraying them as pretty ridiculous characters.  

So now, you can use Death By Roo when playing 6 degrees and always win!

“When Rivera decided to retire, he announced that in each ballpark, he wanted to meet people behind the scenes—employees or fans or people connected to the game who don’t get to tell their stories. He has spent a lifetime in the spotlight, the solitary figure in the middle of the mound. But as his baseball career enters his final months, Rivera has found pleasure in quiet moments with everyday people who perform the often thankless jobs of the baseball world.”

No, Really: Tell Me About You - WSJ.com (via marklisanti)

los jankees!

(via atencio)